The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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