Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
