I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
