A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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