Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Randomize
