is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
