whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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