i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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