No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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