Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
