On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
