New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
