wakey wakey hands off snakey
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
