It's Friday. Sex?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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