I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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