The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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