oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
whose parrot is this?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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