I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
