Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You don't make any sense
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