Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Someone came in the potted fern
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
