I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
