I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
