Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
