Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
