The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
