you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
