On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
its liver damage thursday
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
