note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
