my vag is so smooth its legendary
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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