ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it because I queefed?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
