mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
