I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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