Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
