i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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