Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She bit a glass in half.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Found the puke drawer
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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