I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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