That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
