I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
