My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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