Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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