Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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