I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
