I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
