my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
May the power of my ass compel you!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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