we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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