I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
