It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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