Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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