we have pet lesbian snakes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
