Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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