This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
