god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
