that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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